Puzzle pieces of a beautiful picture

In the path of adulthood, the path of growth from a toddler to an adult, we lost a thing...no a right that what most people never bother or too afraid o fight for it. The right we lost is the right to express our emotion. Do you still remember when we were babies, we could just express our emotion without any hindrance. We throw stuff when we are pissed, we cry when we are sad, and we laugh when we thought something is funny. Compare to us from the present time, we practically hide our emotion all the time. We can't get mad because that might hurt someone, we can't cry because that might make someone feel bad. We hide all of our emotion, unable to express our feeling, some might say our action is to respect others, but who will respect us for expressing our emotion. By expressing our feeling, we only got reprimand or our image completely destroy. What happen to this world? How can we still able to live in this corrupted world that we can't even express how we feel? How can I face myself for being a hypocrite all this time.

I wrote this article long long long time ago..........I know I know.....my english sucks and not to mention all thise obvious grammar mistakes....but this article is very important to me.....its very important and special...so just read it lah

I was walking in a tunnel. It as dark, quiet and somehow cold. As I was walking, I could only hear my footsteps echoing along the tunnel. Fear started to take over my ind. The fear of something abstract which I knew not. I started to run. I ran as fast as my legs could possibly bring. I could only hear my running footsteps and my hard breath.

Open the door whenever you like.....and SLAM it in front of my face whenever you like.....I'm getting tired of this game

I believe that each and every person in this world have their own fantasy.....some fantasized that they have extraordinary power, some fantasized that they have a hidden talent in art or music, some fantasized their future with all those possibilities....some fantasized that the one they love finally love them back and some fantasized the happy ending that they always hope for.....I personally am a fantasized freak...I fantasized a lot of thing.....mostly about...I fantasized things that I wish that it would happen in reality......I fantasized things that most probably will not happen in real life....I know it myself very clearly that all those time I spent fantasizing are all just a fiction, a dream but deep down inside of me...there are always a small part in my heart that always hoping...hoping for all those fantasies to be real.....and it is this hope that always have been driving me.....pushing me to keep trying.....pushing me to keep hoping and pushing me to keep fantasizing.....this prove one thing.....no matter how logic or scientific your mind works....you still can't win against hope........but then.....I've lost it...I've lost the flame, the forces, the energy that have been pushing me for this 4 years. I stopped fantasizing about...because I have lost my hope....I have been through so so so many losing battle and I have been scared and hurt more than it should be.....I loss too many battle that I lost my hope.......I lost my energy and the purpose for me to fantasized.

Does it worth it?....I asked myself this questions a lot of time but I've never bother to answer it...never bother to figure it out because.....whenever this question arised.....there will always be something that telling me it is worth it.....but now......this question came again...and I seriously have no idea how am I going to answer it......today instead of things that telling me it is worth it....things that telling me it is not came popping out of nowhere........actually all this while....there are like a hundred things that happen that telling me...all this that I have done for...how far I go for...all seems pointless and worthless.....the sign are clear actually.....I just chose to ignore them completely......the signs are freaking clear......the way...treat me when...friends are around, the way...treat the person and the things that...tell that person. The signs are clear....the line are already drawn......but still why am i still asking myself this question.....a sane and logic should have known this long time ago, should have known that it doesn't worth it at all.....but now here I am asking this ridiculous question over and over again and why am I kept doing poitless stuff just for... was it because I am too stupid to freaking realised that and give up or am I still under the illusion that someday by doing these pointless stuff........something miracle could happen

He felt that his whole life, was some kind of dream, and he wondered who's it was, ad whether they were enjoying it

-Douglas Atlas-

Do not look back and grief over the past, for it is gone. And do not be troubled about the future for it is yet to come. Live in the present and make it so beautiful taht it will be worth remembering
-E Scott Taylor-

I able to see...i able to see it clearly...but i can't touch it...this is the furthest that I can be....just able to see it but can't touch it....can't have it.....can't feel it...althought sometimes....sometimes I did felt it....no matter how minute it is...i still felt it....but it is just for a split second.....like when twilight turning to the night.....the orange sky creating the shadow of the cloud and the shadow of the ocean, the descending sun, the every beauty and essence of the twilight.....lost within a minute and night shrouded the sky without giving a minute to spare.....however....the image of the twilight still lingers in my mind.....like twilight turning to night......I able to see it...but unable to touch....sometimes able to feel it..but only for a few second....but the feelig still lingers....is this a despair or a joyful thing.....able to feel it but unable to have it.

60 things most girls dont know

–Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!(oh yeah..you’re not “popular” if you’ve slept with more than 6 guys..you’re a HOE)

–”Hey, are you busy?” or “Are you doing something?” ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

–Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

–Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they’re gonna say so there aren’t awkward pauses, but once he’s on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

–Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile.

–Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

–Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they’re goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

–A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

–Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they’re still loved.

–Don’t talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.

–Guys get jealous easily.

–Guys are more emotional than they’d like people to think.

–Giving a guy a hanging message like “You know what?!..uh…nevermind..” would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he’ll assume he did something wrong and he’ll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

–Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

–Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.

–Girls are guys’ weaknesses.

–Guys are very open about themselves.

–It’s good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don’t let him wait too long.

–Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

–If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice.

–A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

–Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

–Guys will brag about anything.

–Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful.If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.

–No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.

–Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

–Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.

–Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn’t notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

–Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy’s confused, then we’re all confused.

–Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.

–Try to be as straightforward as possible.

–If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

–If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he’s probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

–When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

–When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he’s just actually saying, “Please come and listen to me.”

–Guys don’t really have final decisions.

–If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn’t happen that often, so when it does, you know something’s up.

–If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you’re with your boyfriend, he’s probably jealous and likes you.

–When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don’t say you aren’t. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don’t want you to disagree with them.

–When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he’s definitely thinking something.

–Guys like femininity not feebleness.

–Guys don’t like girls who punch harder than they do.

–A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

–Don’t be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

–Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.

–Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

–Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.

–If you are going to reject a guy, just do it. Don’t say they are like a brother or just good friends, it just hurts even more. Tell them that you aren’t interested in a relationship and they will respect you.

–Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

–A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl’s mind for a day.

–No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He’s just too stubborn to admit it.

–Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesnt mean he represents ALL of us.

–We don’t like girls who are too skinny.

–We love it when girls talk about there boobs.

–Always make sure you know what kind of stuff your getting into before making out with a guy …like wheather it’s a one time deal or not ….

–Believe it or not shy guys are the most easiest to talk to..it may not seem right but trust me they will start opening up like books after you just ask them questions about their lives and unoticable tell them about yours…

–When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually

–Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs..

–Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts…

–Guys will test the waters to see how far they can get with you. Even if he doesn’t intend to it will happen. Know how far it is you want to let him go and he will respect that…after you let him know a couple times.

–When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.

Copy from Kiwi aka Kevin Koh Keik Wee's Blog....it is very interesting

When we were born, as a child as a baby...we are what they say pure, innocent and absolutely true to themselves...we cry whenever we are sad...we laugh when we are happy...but then as time goes by, we tend to put on masks....when we get a little bit older...we have two masks. One is forthe family, and the latter is for stranger. As we grow older...the number of mask we put on started to increase....mask for friends, mask for co-worker, mask for your superior.....In our life, we wear mask all the time, changing one to another without letting a second for the unmasked you to breath....changing personality, filtering everything you said, not being yourself....all these just to please someone......A friend of mine tell me that he too wear a lot of mask...and he kinda have problem with that..and the only reply I can give is that 'just be yourself'....I regret replying that because..that is not the best answer....the HECK there are no answer for that....we live our life...changing our personality......from a queit good guy to a funny cheerful brat.....wearing different expression....react differently to other people.....all this mask...all this change from one another to suit a crowd.....can you....can anyone dare say that what is the real you.....we wear mask and changing one to another......do you ever stopped...and think.....which of all those mask are the real you.....or what you really looks like when you are not wearing any mask......I mean....with all this changes....all this so call 'fake'......can someone really be true to himself?...Can someone really not wearing any mask?....or was it that this world is just too corrupted to let anyone to pulled down their mask and be vulberable.

I have never thought myself as a great person...because I am not that noble, I will not volunteer myself in any charity event, and I bragged alot and whine a lot. I am not optimist and I am not positive in fact I am dark and twisty and completely a close door. Althought I am not a great person but at least I thought that I was a good person. I hardly break any rules, I love kids, I did my homework, I never get myself involve in any crime, and I helped people as much as I can.....but today....despite all that....I realized that I'm actually a bad person...I am really a bad person that shouldn't have deserve what I have now. I used to thought that I helped a lot of people...but in truth.....I only helped certain kind of people....I am a bad person that doesn't know when to shut up and doesn't know when to back off....my mouth is the most lethal weapon that ever exist in this world.....and I am such a selfish person.....I always think about myself and never thought about the others....I am a hypocryte....I don't really desrve all these...I don't really deserve all these wonderful people around me....and I guess I was better off to be left alone...to remain as a close door...to be dark and twisty....the world would be better without me...and the people around me would be glad for me to not be around.....I am a bad person....I am really a bad person.....and if this is the way that God telling me that I am a bad person.........well I won't say that I don't deserve it...but why won't God made me realised it sooner.......what a joke...I am not a victim of this conflict but I am writing it as if I am one...gosh how bad a person can I be