Puzzle pieces of a beautiful picture

I have never thought myself as a great person...because I am not that noble, I will not volunteer myself in any charity event, and I bragged alot and whine a lot. I am not optimist and I am not positive in fact I am dark and twisty and completely a close door. Althought I am not a great person but at least I thought that I was a good person. I hardly break any rules, I love kids, I did my homework, I never get myself involve in any crime, and I helped people as much as I can.....but today....despite all that....I realized that I'm actually a bad person...I am really a bad person that shouldn't have deserve what I have now. I used to thought that I helped a lot of people...but in truth.....I only helped certain kind of people....I am a bad person that doesn't know when to shut up and doesn't know when to back off....my mouth is the most lethal weapon that ever exist in this world.....and I am such a selfish person.....I always think about myself and never thought about the others....I am a hypocryte....I don't really desrve all these...I don't really deserve all these wonderful people around me....and I guess I was better off to be left alone...to remain as a close door...to be dark and twisty....the world would be better without me...and the people around me would be glad for me to not be around.....I am a bad person....I am really a bad person.....and if this is the way that God telling me that I am a bad person.........well I won't say that I don't deserve it...but why won't God made me realised it sooner.......what a joke...I am not a victim of this conflict but I am writing it as if I am one...gosh how bad a person can I be