Puzzle pieces of a beautiful picture

MyLDS 2010, NatCon 2011, and MNC 2012, in total I have been to 3 AIESEC National Conference, and among those three, the most impact is not MyLDS 2010 like everyone said but rather NatCon 2011, and MNC 2012 that people would deemed boring. No surprise there that unlike MyLDS 2010 that is about fun development, NatCon 2011 and MNC 2012 is about serious planning and leadership development. Till now, I did not regret being an EB, yes the stress, the social life restriction and of course not to mention the conflict, but the bright side of being EB is much more fruitful. Shouldering the responsibility of a Vice President of Project Management NatCon, makes me mature, doing planning, analyzing GCP's, coming up with strategies and initiatives and of course same goes with making new friends. What I have experience in NatCon is what truly makes me grow and develop as a person. However, it was a different feeling for MNC 2012, although NatCon and MNC are practically the same, but unlike other delegates and unlike NatCon 2011, I am not carrying the responsibility of the Vice President but the resignation of a leader. The reason of my resignation that a lot of people believe is because of teh conflict but actually it is not. It is one of the reason but not the main, the true driver is I find no relevancy being in a department that I do not like at all. Continuing doing things that you are not passionate about and looking at other people wasting their opportunities in doing what you like, it is unbearable, so I throw the white towel. With this mindset, being in MNC is not as gloom as I thought it would be. I have a lot of fun as well. Now going back to the present NatCon 2012 is happening right now, and I am not there kind of depressed me a little. I enjoy NatCon a lot, I enjoy the planning, the morning plenary, the ambiance, and of course Ben-Jie, interestingly enough and see how our position change. Here I am now, in a lonely Starbucks, writing this blog, reminiscing those moment I have at NatCon and MNC makes me wonder, Why? Why I did not apply for the Vice President of Communication. In retrospect in my MC Manager interview and seeing myself how I screwed up the interview. When asked about any way to come up with the Brand Audit, why I did not say about the mind mapping and the association mapping that I studied. When telling me that my position is shaky because of my resignation why I did not argue that my resignation is not a liability for me because my resignation shows that how passionate I am in Communication department. Here I am now, once again, mopping that I'm here and not there at NatCon, to plan for things that I wanted to do, the funny story is that, I already have the plans in my head and I BELIEVE my plans is going to work and it will definitely REVOLUTIONIZE how Communication department in AIESEC Malaysia has been doing. Another stomp in the heart is of course Ben-Jie............